So, you want to make a change?!

The New Year is a time to create goals, make changes, and live the life you want.  I take every January to start over.  I look at my goals from the prior year, congratulate myself on what I have accomplished, and then I create new ones.  Many of these goals require me to create changes within myself and overcome internal resistance.  The thing about me is that once I decide on something, it is done.  There is no going back.

If you have goals for the New Year and you know you will need to create change in order to accomplish those goals, then I invite you to consider the following:

We change on many different levels.  According to NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) there are 6 levels of change- the shallowest being your environment and the deepest being your spirituality/purpose.  Whatever your goal is- whether it is something quite tangible like quitting smoking or whether it is something that cannot be measured as easily- like being happier, it is important to understand the levels of change and how you can work with these levels to create deep, lasting, beneficial change within yourself. 

I invite you right now to create a goal for yourself for this coming year.  Think big!  The trick is to create a goal that you can really commit to, even if it seems far away and you can’t yet see all of the pieces.  Once you have created your goal, I will take you through the 6 levels of change:

1.      Now that you have created your goal, think about how you will have to change your environment- both internal and external.  What about your life will you have to change in order to really see yourself accomplishing this goal?  This is the most superficial mode of change, meaning that it does not create long term change.  It does, however, sometimes propel us into immediate change and is an important consideration in the scope of the whole process.

2.      What behaviors and actions do you need to change in order to reach this goal?  What do you need to support you in these changes of behavior and action?  I recommend writing out a list of behaviors and actions that need to change and what you need to do to change each of them.

3.      Next, what capabilities and skills do you need to gain in order to be successful?  For example, if you are looking to overcome an addiction you might need to learn new coping skills.  If you want to find a more fulfilling career, you might need more job skills.  How will you attain these new skills?  What are the resources available to you to gain these new skills?

4.      Values and beliefs are the root of all motivation.  They create our actions and inactions.  What is it that you value?  What is it you believe about yourself and about the world that brings you strength?  What do you believe that holds you back?  The easiest way to learn what our values and beliefs are is to analyze our emotions.  Ask yourself why you are responding emotionally to a situation.  If something doesn’t feel right to you, ask yourself if it aligns with your values and beliefs.  Work to create strong values and beliefs that will support you in your goal and replace the old ones with the new. 

5.      Once you understand the values and beliefs that support you in your goal, think about who you are and what role you play in your life.  As you work on everything above, your identity will begin to shift.  Think about who you want to be once you accomplish this goal.  What will you look like?  What will your life be like?  How will you feel?  Who will be around you?  What role will you play in life on all levels?  Envision the person you want to be.  Sometimes vision boards really help with this aspect of change.  To create a vision board, go through some magazines and print some pictures and words from the internet to create a large board that represents your new intended identity.  Hang your board by your bed or in your office.  Just having it there will help you create that transformation.

6.      The deepest change we can make is to have our change settle into our purpose.  If your goal can resonate with something greater than your ego so that it feels like you are driven by a higher purpose, then it will become definite and lasting.  What is your higher purpose?  What do you feel driven to do in this life that is higher than you and your ego?  How does your goal fit into this higher purpose?

I have personally found that if I can work through each of these steps, that I can indeed reach my goals and create lasting, beneficial change.  I have heard the expression over and over again that “people can’t change” but I think this is crap.  It is my belief that if you want to change something about yourself and you work on all 6 levels as well as reach out for the help you need along the way, you can change anything!  You can do anything!  You can be the person you want to be!

Sincerely,

Melissa McNulty

Nationally Certified Hypnotherapist, Life Coach, Nutrition Coach, Wellness Practitioner

Taos Hypnotherapy

575-921-8234

taoshypnotherapy.com

12 Steps for Everyday Living

The following 12 steps can be followed everyday to support you in creating a life free of stress, anxieties, and addictions-- giving you the power to create the life you desire.

1. Admit we are powerless over everything and everyone outside of ourselves.

2. Come to recognize and believe that we can control our own thoughts and beliefs, perceptions and actions and that through this, we will regain power in our lives.

3. Make the decision to allow life to happen, knowing that we can handle anything that comes our way.

4. Take a few moments to recognize that we are human, recognizing our thoughts, faults, beauty, strengths, and values with total and complete honesty and acceptance.

5. Take a few moments to recognize the people in our lives- recognizing their faults, beauty, strengths, an values with total and complete honesty and acceptance.

6. Take a moment to forgive any person that we feel has wronged us.

7. Take a moment to forgive ourselves.

8. Take a moment to recognize an Automatic Negative Thought/Belief that may be holding us back.  Embrace it- look at it with honesty- feel the emotions it causes.

9. Replace the negative thought/belief with a positive affirmation and remember it throughout the day.

10. Remember our larger goals and create small tangible goals for positive forward movement.

11. Remember to take one small step at a time and to breathe.

12. Create action in our lives, always following suite with what we value from deep within.

These are the principles I live by in my life.  They have helped me reduce my anxiety to almost nothing.  They have helped me create positive forward movement in my life on a mental, spiritual and physical level.  I realized a while back that external control is simply an illusion that causes major detriment to our lives.  Seeking to control the people and world around us forces us to lose control of ourselves, leading to addiction, anxiety, depression, etc.  Accepting the notion that we are powerless over that which is outside of ourselves is crucial to living a joyful, successful, and anxiety free life.  We take control of our lives when we recognize that we are only in control of ourselves.  Although we cannot control the world around us, we are powerful and can create positive action in the world through following suite with our values and taking one step at a time.

Sincerely,
Melissa McNulty
Nationally Certified Hypnotherapist, Life Coach, Nutrition Coach, Wellness Practitioner
575-921-8234
hypnotherapytaos@gmail.com
Taoshypnotherapy.com

The Power of Forgiveness

One of the greatest things I have done in my life is to learn how to forgive; forgive myself, my family members, the Universe, my friends, my enemies, my fear...etc.

To me, forgiveness does not mean condoning or excusing.  It does not mean forgetting.  For myself, I define forgiveness as "the full willingness to release an offending person from what they have done- and from the pain they have caused- so that I may move on with my life, free from the negativity of the past".  In essence, I forgive another for my own well being as well as the well being of those around me that I love. 

I read once that un-forgiveness is like being on a giant hook and next to you on that hook is the person that has hurt you.  You take that person and all of the pain with you everywhere you go.  I imagine this hook as an anchor with multiple sharp edges that pierce myself and the people I have not forgiven.  I imagine us all stuck there in pain- suffering.  I imagine the anchor piercing people in  my life that are innocent bystanders.  Before long, this anchor is too heavy and my ability to move forward is null and void and my life begins to lack love and trust.  

I have been there before in my life- anchored and heavy- and I have vowed to never get to that place again no matter what happens to me.  I have learned from experience that carrying pain from the past only re-creates it in the present.  It not only re-creates it for me but it also creates it for those around me that certainly don't deserve it.  

When I need to forgive someone, I imagine a hook.  I sit in meditation and quiet my mind.  I go as deep as I can and I then imagine myself and the offending person on the hook.  I fully feel the pain.  I fully remember what happened.  I let myself be there completely.  I accept it fully for everything it is.  I see and feel the negativity of all that came from the experience/s. 

 I then recognize what I can gain from the experience- how I can grow from it.  I imagine who I want to be once I release myself from that hook.  I connect myself to a feeling I may have had in the past that was positive- or a few feelings from the past that layer on top of one another to create the person I want to be when I think about the offending person and what they did to me.  Instead of the pain of the hook, I imagine what I want to feel, keeping in mind the overall feeling of freedom.

I then go back to the hook and pain.  I see and feel the picture clearly right in front of myself.  I then remember the picture of how I want to feel in my freedom and I replace the pictures in my mind.  I replace how I did feel with how I want to feel.  I do this over and over again until when I think of the offending person, I feel free and good about myself and my life.  I replace the pain and suffering with how I want to feel in my freedom.  

It is amazing what a difference this activity has made in my life.  It is amazing how I have been able to overcome a lot of adversity through forgiveness.  It is amazing how easy it really can be for anyone that wishes to free themselves from the hook of un-forgiveness to simply do so....

...And remember, forgiveness is for you and for the ones in your life that you treasure and love.  

Forgiveness Mantra:

I release myself, for everything.

I release everyone, for everything.

I release my life, for everything.

I release my fear, for everything.

I release my judgement for everything.

I release those who have judged me.

I release those who have feared me.

I release myself for love not yet given to myself.

I love myself.

I am free.

I am free to be fully me!

Melissa McNulty

Hypnotherapist, Life Coach, Nutrition Coach, Mind/Body Wellness Practitioner

hypnotherapytaos.com

575-921-8234

If you need help with this process, I am here, and I specialize in forgiveness.  You can reach me at hypnotherapytaos@gmail.com, at http://www.hypnotherapytaos.com/contact.html or by calling 575-921-8234.

How to Lose Weight and Keep it Off for Good: Final Step!

It's time to explore the different ways you like to move!
 
This does not mean you have to go to the gym.  Many people think of exercise and they make excuses because they don't have enough time to go the gym or to take a walk.  The bad news is that these excuses will no longer work for you.  The good news is that you can incorporate more movement within your busy schedule.

First, do a bit of brainstorming and come up with various ways you enjoy moving: Do you like to take walks?  Do you enjoy hiking? Do you enjoy swimming?  Do you like dancing?  Do you like yoga?  Do you enjoy stretching? Do you enjoy riding your bike?  Do you like going to the gym?  Consider all types of movement!

Now, be creative!  Create 1-3 goals for yourself in terms of moving more in your life.  These goals can be big or small- it doesn't matter- Only you know which goals are realistic in the present moment.  It is not a race to suddenly add a whole new element of movement into your life- this can be done slowly...After all, you are working to lose weight for good!  It is better to move forward slowly than to become overwhelmed and give up.  You can start with one small goal like parking further away from the office or from the entrance to the grocery store and then build upon that with one new goal each week.  Whatever works for you is perfect!

I would recommend using the SMART goal template in creating your goals.  This will help you create specific, realistic and achievable goals:

Specific: Your goal precisely spells out your desired result.

Measurable: The goal states your target in measurable terms so you will know when you have arrived, as well as where you are at any specific moment.

Achievable: The goal is physically possible to accomplish within the defined limitations.

Realistic: Your goal can be accomplished within the specified time and with available resources.

Time-Based: There is a calendar date by which you plan to achieve your goal.

Well, here we are at the end of our 5 week journey!  I would love to hear some feedback from those of you that have been following these steps.  You can post here, email me, or give me a call at 575-921-8234.
Please contact me if you need any support in creating smart goals or if you need some hypnotherapy work to become more motivated to move.

Here's to your health!

How to Lose Weight and Keep it Off for Good: Step 4 of a 5 Step Program.

Note: Before reading this post, please read Step 3.

Now that we have an idea of the thoughts, feelings, and perceptions regarding your excess weight, it is time to release it all.  One great way to do this is through meditation.  The following meditation is adapted from "Suite of Armor" by Linda Bennett:  

Imagine yourself encased in a suite of armor, looking into a mirror.  Notice how heavy it feels.  Become aware of the metal surrounding your body.  Notice how difficult it is to move and how much it holds you back.  Realize that it once served a purpose but is now unnecessary.  Recognize that you are ready to let go of this armor.

Now, imagine someone has come to help you- this could be a friend, family member, spirit guide.  They are here to help you remove your armor, one piece at a time.  ...

They first help you remove the armor around your knees...then around your calves, around your feet.. as they pull the armor from off of your legs, they begin to remove the negativity, the fear, the anger, the self-doubt...all of the limitations that have kept you from your your weight loss goals...they then remove the heavy metal from your thighs.  Notice how light your legs feel...notice how less burdened you are by negative thoughts, feelings and self-doubt.

They now remove the armor from your stomach- removing all fear, anger, and all uncomfortable feelings you feel in the pit of your stomach...you begin to feel a sense of freedom...you begin to feel the desire to put your fears aside and move forward into your weight loss goals.

Now they remove the armor from around your back and with it all of the weight from the past has been lifted from you...you are free from the weight of past disappointments...letting go of painful and dark memories from the past...

They now remove the armor from around your arms.. feel the change...they are lifting away the fear, anger, limiting beliefs that have held you back in the past...now your arms can move freely and reach out for anything they want.

The armor is now removed from your chest....the heavy metal that restricted your heart for so long...all of the sadness, hurts in your heart are removed.....  Now, feel your heart expand..allow it to fill and expand with light--allowing you to love and be loved completely and unconditionally...

As the armor is removed from the top of your head all of the negative thoughts that limited your past success is released....  Your thoughts become free from negativity and you are now open to thinking more positively.

Now the armor is removed from your eyes and face and with that, you can see clearly...you can see yourself and see that all of your previous limitations are gone- you have let them go because you don't need them anymore.

In the mirror you can see yourself- thin, happy, healthy, focused and successful in losing all of your excess weight...you feel encouraged and motivated by the freedom to be free and achieve everything you desire.

Practice this meditation over and over again, every night as you are falling asleep and/or every morning that you are waking up.  This is when the subconscious mind is more active and the conscious mind is sleepy and out of the way.  Being guided through a session is incredibly helpful with this.  If you would like to schedule an appointment to be guided through this meditation, please feel free to contact me at 575-921-8234 or through my website, hypnotherapytaos.com.

Here's to your health!

Learn How to Lose Weight and Keep it Off for Good: Step 3 of a 5 Step Program

Step 3 of this weight loss program is to work toward Releasing Emotional Weight.  I can't say enough how important this step is- often,
above all others.  Many of us hold extra weight because we are holding onto certain emotions.  We often gain weight as a suit of armor- to protect us from a person, a memory, an emotion...

Louise Hay, an incredible pioneer in the mind/body wellness field is famous for discovering/popularizing the notion that our thoughts and mental well being are directly tied to our physical well being.  Hay says that excess weight is only an, "outer effect of a deep inner problem.  It is always fear and a need for protection.  When we feel frightened or insecure or "not good enough", many of us will put on extra weight for protection."  Her belief is that many people are overweight because they don't love themselves enough...they have tried for years and years to release weight with no avail and when they finally begin to love themselves and get to the heart of the true issue, the weight falls off with almost no effort.  Now, this might be a concept that is somewhat difficult to believe but I have to say that I have seen the results over and over again with my clients.  Once the emotional weight is released, the physical weight naturally drops.

The first thing I am going to ask you to do is to journal about this idea.

Consider these questions:
Do you feel as though there is a deeply rooted issue/s that plays a role in your excess weight?
Is there perhaps something you are trying to protect yourself from?
Can you remember the point in your life when you began gaining excess weight?
What was happening in your life?
What kinds of emotions does food feed for you?
What are these emotions related to?
Do you believe you are not good enough?  How so?
Do you love yourself?  Perhaps try looking in the mirror and saying, "I love you." to yourself.  How does this feel?
Do you take care of yourself?  In what ways is your care lacking?
What are your negative beliefs surrounding your perception of yourself?
What have you not forgiven yourself for?
What have you not forgiven someone else for?

Your job this week is to explore these questions fully and get a wholistic sense of your emotions and feelings about yourself.  Trying to answer them all at once might be a bit overwhelming.  I recommend focusing on one or two questions/day and really going into depth.  Journaling works great because you can let your thoughts flow and often times the subconscious mind will bring something to the surface.

A meditation: You feel your excess weight as a suite of armor.  Imagine you are encased in this suit of armor and begin to focus on each part of the armor.  Focus on the legs/feet, the hips, the stomach, the arms, the chest, and the head- one piece of armor at a time.  Sit with each piece of armor and feel the heaviness fully.  How does it feel?  What emotions come up as you focus on this piece of armor?  What thoughts arise as you focus on this piece of armor?  This will help bring important information to the surface of your mind.  Write it all down.

This week is to merely recognize and become familiar with our underlying thoughts, emotions, feelings, and perceptions of ourselves.  Next week we will work on releasing this armor.  Releasing the fears, thoughts, feelings and perceptions that no longer serve us in our lives.

If you need some assistance with this process, please feel free to contact me: Melissa McNulty, hypnotherapytaos.com - 575-921-8234 .  This is something that may be a bit overwhelming to do yourself and a whole lot easier to do with assistance.  Mentioning this blog will give you 50% off of regularly priced sessions.  Here's to your health!!!

Learn How to Lose Weight and Keep it Off for GOOD!!! Step 2 of a 5 Step Program.

Step 2: Pinpoint When, Where, and Why you Eat.  This exercise will help you analyze your eating pattern so that you can identify when you are most likely to eat, where you eat, and why you eat.  Write a yes or no next to each item in the list below.

When: I eat when I am       Hungry ____________ Nervous ____________ Bored ____________                                 Stressed___________ Hyperactive ____________ Happy ___________ Sad____________
Lonely____________ Frustrated ______________ Anxious __________ Afraid ___________ Other _____________________________________________________________________


Where: I eat too much or snack   While watching TV ___________ In groups ____________ While Reading __________ During Coffee Breaks ____________ Between Office/Home ____________
At Sports Events____________ At Business Lunches _____________ At Social Events ________
In Bed ____________ Other ______________________________________________________


Why: I treat myself to a snack or meal whenever I need   Love ___________ Reward _________
Companionship__________ Something to do ____________ A change in my activity _________
To compensate for something unpleasant _____________ To Relax _____________ To feel more important __________ To feel secure ____________ Sexual Attention ______________
Other ___________


Now, look at all of your yeses that pinpoint why, when, and where you eat.  Write down a statement for each one and then write new options for the behavior.  Below are some examples to help you get started:
Example: (Bored)  Old Habit: I eat when I am bored.  New Options: When I am bored, I read a newspaper, magazine, or a book.  I call a friend, go for a bike ride, go to a movie.
(Nervous) Old Habit: I eat when I am nervous.  New Options: When I am nervous I take five minutes to close my eyes and relax.  I jog in place, participate in some other form of physical exercise, or work on my current favorite project or hobby.
(Bed) Old Habit: I eat in bed.  New Habit: When I am in bed I will review my accomplishments and good qualities before going to sleep.  I will read, or make a schedule for the next day.
(Change in Activity) Old Habit: I treat myself to a snack or meal whenever I need a change in activity. New Habit: If I am engaged in sedentary activity such as sitting at my desk, I change to one that is mobile, such as doing sit-ups.  If I am engaged in activity which is mobile, I change to one which is sedentary, such as reading.

Once you have come up with alternatives for these behaviors, make a commitment to create change.  You can commit to working on one habit/pattern at a time or you can decide to make all or some of the changes at once.  Whatever you decide, be gentle with yourself and celebrate your accomplishments!  You can do this!!!!

If you need any extra coaching support or hypnotherapy, I would be happy to help.  My phone number is 575-921-8234- Ask for Melissa.  You can visit my website at hypnotherapytaos.com and email me at hypnotherapytaos@gmail.com.  Hypnotherapy can be extremely helpful for changing these patterns subconsciously so that an automatic shift can happen.  This can make the process of change far easier, with a much larger rate of success.  Mentioning this blog will give you 40% off of any hypnotherapy/coaching session related to this topic.  Here's to your health!!!!